we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
