I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize