they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
