This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
