and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
