Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
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