About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
