i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Life is so much better after having sex.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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