i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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