So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Randomize
