you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Randomize
