she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
so let's talk penis.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
