when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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