He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Randomize
