this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
