No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
