Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
now i know why i became what i already was.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
