Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
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should my penis look like a turkey
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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