google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I am one with the molecules
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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