Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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