this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
