I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
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