Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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