Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
