whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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