You just made me feel so damn special
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
