he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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