my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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