I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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