this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
