This is not my ceiling
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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