Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
