I need help removing her.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
