that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize
