We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
