Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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