He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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