well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
