we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
