best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
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