Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
