It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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