Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
