we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
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