Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
