Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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