Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
