So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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