Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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