So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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