WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
