just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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