She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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