Swine flu. Run for my life!
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
