At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
